If Lina Telemann was competing in the New York Marathon, she would qualify for the Athena division which is reserved for large women runners. She stands over 6-feet tall and weighs more than your humble narrator. She is also impressively flexible, sports long lustrous blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. Although Lina is not interested in nude modeling, she is an exceptional addition to the Zishy roster. I wanna see her kick the shit out of Jake Paul. More to come.

• Lina Telemann
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