Kerin Metzger is a woman you would never expect has a kink side the size of Texas. You might meet her working the register at Office Depot and think to yourself, "What a cute nerd, I bet she has no idea how sexy she could be". Upon checkout, you might spring up a meaningless conversation about the latest serial killer doc on Netflix. She might give you her number if you exude enough false confidence. You might come to her apartment and be introduced to her pet chinchilla. She might offer you some Kool-Aid and maybe a hit from her glass water pipe. Then, if you are real fortunate, she might reveal her drawer of secret toys and implements. Or, you could just stay home and order those paperclips from Amazon. You decide. This update brought to you by Office Depot.

• Kerin Metzger
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