Oooh, I hate those "people" who disagree with my views on climate change, racism, privacy, abortion, pornography, the global pandemic. How the hell does everyone not see it my way? I watch the real news, you know, the completely unbiased one that isn't after advertising dollars or clicks. The one that isn't owned by a billion-dollar corporation. The one that just tells me the facts. No opinion. No agenda. Just facts. Yeah, I watch that one. Let's divide this country down the middle. The smart people on one side and the idiots on the other. Never mind the laughter of our approaching adversaries. Divide!

• Peach Kennedy
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