Kurt Cobain was a pussy. He let us nineties-kids down. The new generation, like the one Vonnie Bean is part of, has a laundry list of profound issues to resolve and with the guidance of mostly talentless heroes. The apocalypse is right around the corner and the kids are still smiling, dancing, and making TikTok videos. They might be idiots, but I still enjoy them more than the idiots my age. The ones whose lives are dictated by mortgages, political affiliations, and favorite sports teams. Today's adults don't want the kids using drugs, making porn, or hurting anyone's feelings. Instead they offer what? Participation Trophies? An endless psychotic nightmare permeated by government surveillance and personalized advertising? Maybe Kurt was onto something. But he still is a pussy. Vonnie took an outdoor leak for the first time in the bonus video.

• Vonnie Bean
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