Vynessa Lucero claims that her incredible physique is 100% natural. She follows a strict ancestral diet of beef liver and other offal. I don't believe a word of it, but maybe I am just being a hater. Look, Vynessa. I know you think you topped me in our squatting contest. If it had been fair, and my back wasn't acting up, then the results would be quite different. Sadly, I have retired from such pointless competition. You can expect video of Vynessa and more buck nekkid photos in part two. Coming soon.

• Vyness Lucero
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